


Need You Around

by _bitter90scynicism_ (joetrohmancantlose)



Category: Clueless (1995)
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, F/M, Feels, cuteness, ex step siblings, had to write this fluff, love this film, will they won they
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 11:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joetrohmancantlose/pseuds/_bitter90scynicism_
Summary: Thanks to recent events in her life Cher wants to take a step back from being a social butterfly to spend her time vegging out in front of the TV instead.But when Josh unexpectedly invites her and Tai to a secret gig that his girlfriend Heather had spare tickets to she just has to go to at least experience a night out on the strip.Yet what transpires instead has her double guessing everything and even worse actually liking some of the same music that Josh was into which was just plain wrong.What next was she actually going to start getting along with her ex-step sibling?As if!





	Need You Around

**Author's Note:**

> *I have always wanted to write something with Cher & Josh in they are one of my original ships way before I knew that was a thing*

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
What went wrong?

After learning that Christian was in fact gay which made me feel like a total bonehead and more than a little confused which wasn’t me at all because I was totally bugging unsure in what steps I needed to take next.

Going from being the queen of my own world to not entirely understanding where things were heading made me truly feel like I was lacking somewhere.

Sure me and Christian were firm friends indeed I just loved taking him to the mall with me on hand to help me decide over a certain skirt or pair of pants that I just had to have.

I couldn’t talk to Dee because after that brush with death almost on the freeway she had been occupied with Murray after school hardly leaving her boyfriend’s side.

On top of that I was in no mood to hear once again how Tai had been rescued by Christian at the mall I was there and the events that actually took place were a lot different to all the rumours that I had heard from school.

Worst of all I was beginning to feel a little left out and that didn’t make sense because I should be way proud of myself for all the good deeds I had managed to achieve.

Despite feeling wretched I knew that something good was waiting just round the corner for me I was definitely owed something for everything I had done recently.

Josh is as always in the lounge downstairs watching the news whilst in his mind planning some way of saving the world no doubt or at the very least some way of annoying me.

“Hey if you think that you have free reign on the remote control tonight you are totally wrong.” I tell Josh who glances away from the large TV with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t you want to join me?” Scoffs Josh then he adds “I bet they will have a segment more your style about the world of Contempo casual or better yet about what is hot this week and what’s not.”

“Funny.” I retort not entirely sure why I had said to Josh that he could hang around the house during Spring break because him being there all the time was actually driving me crazy.

Nudging him Josh moves a little way across the couch so I can sit down next to him even though he still took up so much space eating a huge bowl of cheese balls licking off the bright orange dust from the tips of his fingers.

There had been several arguments between us already today which obviously wasn’t unusual but what was weird was that I felt the need to apologise to Josh seeing that was totally out of character for me.

I blamed my up and coming driving test which was happening tomorrow for my current outpouring of emotions because I hadn’t really had the time to practice but I knew deep down that I would pass regardless.

That in actuality was the last thing on my mind seeing that I was over the whole Christian deal gaining a really good friend from that experience but feeling wary over how Tai was transforming into something else.

“You ok there?” Josh questions noticing how quiet I was which distracts me from my thoughts.

“My turn!” I grab the remote control from Josh’s lap surfing the channels until I come across an old episode of “The Real World” which suits me just fine.

This was exactly what I needed right now something for my mind to think about other than Tai and all my friends who had varying degrees of problems which I may or may not have had a hand in.

“Cannot believe you like this reality trash rather than actually watching real life in the news.” Josh declares whilst shaking his head at me.

“I cannot believe you sound so old.” I joke back “Do you want me to fetch you a glass of prune juice?”

“I’m two years older than you!” Josh retorts clearly I had struck a nerve with that comment.

“Whatever grandpa.” I tease with a smirk on my face.

Josh watches me as I tuck some of my blonde hair behind one of my ears clearly having won that round but I give him a weird look when he continues to stare at me.

“Do I have something on my face?” I question in alarm that maybe my make-up had smudged or I had some tell-tell signs of the bar of Snickers I had eaten earlier.

“W-what?” Josh questions clearly not having heard a single word I had said instead he looks at me like I had two heads instead of one.

“Ok.” I nod not wanting to cause another argument because that had been a little strange but seeing how things had been going wrong all over I just shrug it off instead.

As the credits for the “Real World” begin to roll up the TV screen I grab the remote seconds before Josh attempts to rewarding me with a glare which made me smile back.

I didn’t know what it was but I got a secret thrill every time I annoyed Josh maybe it was the ex- step sibling behaviour coming out in me but whatever it was it had sure cheered me up a little.

“Hey Cher!” Tai announces with a smug smile entering the lounge then thanking Lucy she heads over to the smaller couch on the left side of me.

“What’s up?” I ask Tai as she settles into the plush white couch that looks like it is going to consume her like she was sitting on a fluffy cloud.

“Just wanted to hang out.” Tai smiles whilst adding “Sure my social calendar is pretty full but I can always squeeze in a little time for my best friend.”

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Glancing away from the TV I smile at Tai then coming across an episode of “Beverly Hills 90210” I leave it on in the vain hope that Josh would vacate the room and I could open up to Tai about my feelings even though I couldn’t put them into words right this second.

“I don’t know if this is better or worse than the last programme you had on?” Josh mumbles pulling a face at Tai which makes her giggle.

“You know what to do if you don’t like it Josh.” I declare hoping he took the hint.

“I don’t mind if Josh stays here I like to hear some things from the guy perspective.” Tai tells Josh whose face breaks into a silly smile.

“Well that leaves Josh out then!” I declare with a wicked smile.

“Oh I know a lot more about girls than you think seeing I am a college guy now.” Josh states with a grin.

“I don’t want to know what you know.” I shudder at the thought of hearing some wise words from Josh about the female population.

An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach all of a sudden even though the dinner that Lucy had prepared us was amazing but daddy had taken his to eat in his office the deadline for the latest big case looming in front of him.

Feeling the couch move I notice that Josh has gone to sit next to Tai as she begins to re-live what had happened to her at the mall as if on cue.

“They thought it was a game but they decided to lean me over the side like if either of them had dropped me then I would have been a goner I have so much to give I took this experience as a sign.” Tai tells Josh over dramatically.

“Yeah you need to re-think the boys you approach near the Foot Locker.” I quip which sounded a little rude even to my own ears.

“Let the boys come to you.” Josh informs Tai lazily “If someone is interested then they will let you know like in subtle ways but it is out there.”

“Is that the voice of reason or freshman psyche I hear?” I question sarcastically which gets yet another rise from Josh.

“I told you I never took freshman psyche!” Josh grumbles back at me. 

Watching Josh chatting to Tai who of course was enjoying the attention continued to make me feel funny which was strange because why should I even care about that?

Not laughing along at some lame joke that Josh tells Tai who laughs way too loudly I head into the large kitchen for a bottle of water and just to be away from whatever was happening in the lounge.

It was like something from the “Twilight Zone” which I had been truly terrified of when I’d watched old re-runs with daddy as a kid when he wasn’t busy with work.

I had really been looking forward to setting up camp on the couch and not moving all evening but Tai had turned up uninvited and Josh had already been in the room I couldn’t have exactly turfed him out.

God, why did I sound so weird?

Was I jealous?

Laughing out loud at the very thought I put that idea in the back of my mind filing it under things never to think about ever again.

Shaking my head I walk back into the lounge noticing that Josh was talking to someone on his cell phone, like he had any friends!  
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“What’s wrong?” Tai questions as she catches me smiling and watching Josh talk to whoever it was on the other line so I quickly look away.

“Everything is up in the air!” I declare not bothering to go for subtle anymore because I needed some advice from someone.

Josh suddenly gets up from the couch beside Tai leaving the room thankfully so I could talk to my friend alone.

“Oh Cher, what’s up?” Tai gives me a worried look like I am moments away from going postal but I compose myself instead and take a seat where Josh had been sitting.

Trying to describe how I felt was a tough one despite having a decent understanding of the English language especially teenage speak but right now I was totally clueless.

What does come out of my mouth is so confusing and just plain cliche that Tai gives me a funny look which didn’t bode well for me wishing instead that I could just press rewind on the evening and start all over again.

“Are you two up to anything tonight? “Josh asks poking his head round the door.

“Clearly we are busy right here.” I tell Josh matter-of-factly.

“Well that was Heather calling me she has spare tickets to a secret gig that is taking place near the strip and she asked if I know two people who would like to join us?” Josh questions ignoring me completely.

“That sounds amazing!” Tai claps her hands giggling at me adding “Let’s go Cher.”

“On the strip?” I question scrunching my nose up considering the invitation.

“I assume you guys have fake ID like me the place is pretty lax but I’m sure the beer is watered down terribly as well.” Josh smiles leaning himself against the door frame.

“It can take your mind off whatever you was trying to tell me earlier.” Tai grins encouragingly at me.

“I can show off my insane dance moves once again.” Josh jokes with a goofy grin.

“Please don’t do that Josh, ever.” I reply back solemnly even though it had been super cute of him to dance with Tai because clearly she had been feeling left out whilst I boogied with Christian.

“We were a good team Cher!” Tai smiles rushing over to Josh trying to grab his hands so they could recreate how they had danced at that college party but my ex- step sibling looks away shyly instead.

“You guys have like ten minutes to get ready.” Josh mumbles not quite meeting mine or Tai’s eyes as he is talking to the floor.

“I am not a fashion victim Josh I need a hell of a lot longer than that to achieve a perfect look for the occasion. “I state seriously.

“As I said ten minutes.” Josh retorts tapping a finger to his watch which makes me roll my eyes back at him.

“Whatever.” I sigh then add “I could get dressed in the dark and still look fabulous.”

“Do you truly have enough time to be sassing me right now?” Josh questions clearly bored with this conversation.

Tai stays downstairs looking at herself in a bright pink compact mirror re-applying lipstick the correct way that Dee had shown her how when we made her over that had been a totally fun afternoon.

Rushing into my bedroom I pull open the large doors on my wardrobe looking for inspiration which appears in the form of a basic but classic thin strapped vest which I would tuck loosely into a light blue short denim skirt which had big metal buttons down the front. 

The vest was from Calvin Klein whilst the denim skirt was a wardrobe staple from Fred Segal that simple wouldn’t go out of fashion because it was a timeless piece.

My beautiful black Mary Jane shoes completed the look and also gave me some well needed height as I finished touching up my make-up and then I was ready to go.

Obviously I was longer than ten minutes but I was pretty pleased with the finished look running my right hand through my hair once more to perfect that tousled look.

“College guys, watch out!” I grin at my reflection in the mirror hoping that there was at least one boy there to catch my attention taking my mind off whatever was bugging me.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Heading back downstairs into the lounge I walk in at the wrong moment as I catch Tai leaning into Josh with her whole body like she wanted to sit on his lap or something.

“Are you ready to party Cher?” Tai questions which makes Josh look round.

Leaning away from my friend as soon as he spots me Josh does a double take watching me walk from the door into the lounge which briefly makes me feel self-conscious but only for a few seconds.

“Shall we go?” I ask trying to ignore that uncertain feeling that was still present at the pit of my stomach.

“I’ve already told Mel we are heading out.” Josh nods back then adds with a wry smile “I’ve been given strict instructions to get you girls home before two at the very latest otherwise your dad will be playing a game of kill the college student.”

“Sounds fair to me.” I grin back as Tai giggles once again sounding a little like a hyena.

“Well Mel already has his 45 ready he just needs to get his shovel from the garage to bury me if I mess up.” Josh shrugs back.

Heading outside to the front courtyard it takes an insanely short amount of time before Josh is trying to argue with me.

“All I’m saying is if you actually want to practice for your test then you should drive us to the strip.” Josh begins giving me a sidelong look.

“There is no way I could drive in these heels and skirt.” I whine back not wanting to drive right now.

“I want a drink at the show.” Josh tells me with a groan like he couldn’t believe I was being so childish because that was how he always made me feel.

“What if I drive us home?” I state trying to find an even ground adding “So you can take us there that is fair right!”

This appears to calm Josh down and I don’t dare ask him to repeat what he had been mumbling in case he decided the argument hadn’t been won by yours truly of course.

There was no way I was going to drink a beer at the venue because alcohol never agreed with me and I never liked the results of who I become it wasn’t the be all to get wasted at a party.

I had to keep my composure to ensure Tai didn’t get herself into any trouble because seeing how her track record was recently I needed to up my game like big time.

After all I was her mentor and how would it look for my popularity if I let hers plummet into the depths of notoriety by wasting her new found fame as one of our crew members over a stupid mistake.

All piling into Josh’s dark grey Volvo I sit at the front whilst Tai takes the back seat flipping open her bright pink compact once more to check her make-up was still good.

“Stop messing with that!” Josh taps my hand hard as I begin to fiddle with the radio dial trying to find something other than talk radio which would send both me and Tai to sleep even before we got to the strip.

“Let’s put a tape on.” I suggest changing the radio to tape which begins to play something that kind of sucked part college rock and part grunge.

“Why are you pulling that face?” Josh questions with a smile clearly knowing the answer already.

“This sucks.” I whine switching the tape off as Tai takes the brief moment of silence to signal that she could begin talking so she does whilst I decide to look out of the window instead.

Still feeling a little sore over Christian because the guy could dress perfectly he was my match it was a shame he could never see me more than a friend but I guess that was the way the cookie crumbled.

Unsure why I had to keep reliving things recently I knew that I had closure by Christian still being my friend he could have seen this a whole other way and laughed in my face which would have been cruel and unkind.

I was looking good this evening so I knew that I was approachable I wasn’t too sure that this venue on the strip was one where I could shine in even though I was known to illuminate a room whenever I entered one.

If there was such a thing as a hot college boy then I was about to find out tonight that was for certain seeing how I had given up an evening of vegging out for this so this show better deliver.

Josh and Tai are chatting like old friends which makes that uneasy feeling hit me once again in waves like I was annoyed at my ex-step sibling for even talking to my friend which was stupid.

Maybe I did need a spritzer or something this evening especially if this secret band sucked well if that was the case I would just blame it on Josh’s snotty girlfriend Heather.

“I hope you two behave tonight.” Josh looks at me breaking into my confused thoughts.

“I promise nothing!” Giggles Tai which makes me grin back.

“Yes Josh, we won’t embarrass you!” I nod then add swiftly “Because we will be too humiliated being stuck with you all night.”

“Well thanks a lot.” Josh dead pans “It isn’t like I am doing you guys a favour tonight.”

“I will thank you for a decent evening if the band are any good.” I smile then add “We better be able to dance to it!”

Josh just grins back at me as if by a miracle or sign by god we enter the strip and actually find a parking lot where we could leave his unsavoury car at and head closer into town.

Meeting Heather outside of the venue a place called “Bernie’s” which was apparently popular it looked super grungy to me and not my scene at all.

What the hell was I actually expecting?

“This place is so cool right now.” Josh tells me whilst Tai nods along with every word he says like an obedient puppy.

“Like I really need advice from you once again on what’s cool and what’s not Josh.” I retort with a grin.

"Cher you remember Heather, well Heather this is Tai.” Josh introduces us awkwardly.

Silently nodding Josh’s girlfriend looked prettier without that beret hat on her head perhaps a little less make-up was needed because she had put a lot on tonight.

Shaking my head I tell my inner monologue to chill out for a few moments because I didn’t need to be acting like a brat this evening I was in the presence of an older crowd I needed to let my maturity shine through..

“So do you actually know who is playing tonight?” Questions Tai looking at Heather funnily like she was subtly trying to study her but failing miserably.

“No one does. “Heather smiles in a tone that suggests Tai was an idiot.

“Let’s hope they are decent.” I state once more.

“I didn’t know you would invite Cher and her friend I am not in the mood to babysit tonight.” Heather states between gritted teeth looking a little annoyed at her boyfriend.

“It’s fine.” Josh tells her with a goofy grin “It’s an education for them both.”

“A living nightmare you mean.” I retort bitterly wondering if this was a good idea at all.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Having to wait outside the line is a foreign concept for me but I let my mind drift off as I catch various conversations revolving who would be playing tonight not recognising a single band name that is mentioned.

Luckily for me the line doesn’t take long to move otherwise I would be whining because these heels were not the kind to just stand around in I needed to be dancing and doing circuits round the venue.

Finally inside after Heather waves the ticket at the security guy, he then in turn painstakingly stares at our fake ID’s for far too long then we get a grotty stamp on our hands and we are allowed inside.

“Let’s take a look around-“

Before I can finish my sentence to Tai my friend walks off in between two guys who had been blatantly checking her out hell even leering at her whilst we had been standing in line.

That was the problem with Tai she didn’t know how to play hard to get even with the boys she truly liked, like Travis who was a sweet guy but I just knew my friend could do better even if she knew this or not.

Looking beside me I notice that Heather and Josh were still here with one of them staring straight into my soul and the other eyeing up where the nearest bar was.

“I’m going to get myself a beer.” Josh tells us both walking off into the crowded venue which had some grunge-like music being blasted out from huge speakers.

The venue was T shape painted an ugly brown colour from top to bottom with lots of gig posters pasted over each other, loads of graffiti and god knows what else which makes me shudder at the thought.

Stood next to Heather who looked ok in a light blue summer dress with a green and blue checked shirt over the top finishing the look with a pair of heavy looking boots.

Not sure how to break the silence between us I cross my legs at my ankles instead trying to look approachable whilst I looked for the nearest exists in case I needed to make a quick escape.

“I hope you guys have fun tonight.” Heather begins loudly over the thumping music around us but not without adding “A lot of people would die for these tickets if the rumours are in fact true.”

“We both know how to have fun.” I confirm with a confident nod.

Looking away from Heather’s gaze I notice the distance she was keeping from Josh not exactly rushing to be by his side when I spot him at the bar.

Checking out the crowd temporarily confirms my worst fear as I do not see any boys who looked remotely attractive if they were college guys or otherwise.

In the background I recognise a face I didn’t want to see tonight, of course Elton would be here with my fashion double wannabe Amber who still wasn’t as pretty as my friend Tai and that was a fact.

The pair were leaning against one another standing to the side of us away from the crowd up close together pecking one another with small kisses which makes me feel a little sick.

I watch Josh at the bar once more talking to a bartender looking right in his element as he smiles at something the guy said then begins to nod furiously.

Hearing a soft cough nearby I look behind me to see Heather was still there and I had just been staring at her boyfriend who happened to also be my ex-step brother so this was a little complicated.

Hoping that Heather never noticed I shake my head ordering myself to just calm down and maybe go look for Tai see who else she had picked up in the crowd.

“Don’t go!” Heather cries just as I was about to walk away grabbing onto my arm she pulls me back into my original spot where I had been standing.

“I won’t!” I snap back puling my arm back from Heather wanting some personal space between us.

“Well the truth is me and Josh aren’t together anymore.” Heather states dropping this bombshell in front of me then adds “Well we weren’t exactly together just fooling around really.” 

“Oh, that’s a bummer.” I nod not knowing what else to say.

“My ex called me up.” Heather begins looking at me warily once more then adding “Blah, blah, blah.” 

Well she was actually talking to me with words and everything but I didn’t exactly care so I just zoned out whilst marvelling at how well she was taking the whole break up between her and Josh.

Catching the tail end of whatever Heather had been saying makes me stop breathing for a few seconds before I compose myself then say “Excuse me?”

“Josh is always talking about you.” Heather repeats looking at the blank face I must be pulling back at her.

“In a bad way no doubt.” I joke as I shake my head “I bet he is always moaning about the music I play being too loud or uncool like as if I-“

“No.” Heather cuts me off with a serious shake of her head.

“I don’t think he talks about me that much.” I state flippantly.

“Josh cannot stop talking about you.” Heather tells me whilst almost looking like she wish she hadn’t of said anything.

“Is this a joke?” I question not liking the look that Heather was currently giving me.

Some guy suddenly appears next to Heather wrapping an arm around her shoulders and she grins at him with a wide smile but then returns to giving me a look like she was trying to gage my reaction.

But I was trying my best to stay in neutral choosing not to process Heather’s comment because it was strange and perhaps she was trying to make me feel even worse.

For all the times me and Josh have joked and argued I have hated it when he has made me feel bad because he has called me a brat and I haven’t been able to retort something witty back in his direction.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“See you guys later.” Heather smiles as she walks off with her new guy attached to her side.

“Ah, so you have met Hugo then?” Questions Josh appearing by my side with an awkward grin on his face and a beer in his hand.

“No I didn’t have the pleasure.” I retort not sure what had just happened before Josh had reappeared.

“Well Hugo is Heather’s new boyfriend but I don’t think even I had that title when we were together it was all just a bit of fun.” Josh informs me loudly over the music leaning close so he could yell into my right ear.

So no love lost then?” I question with a smile.

“I have some other girls I like but I want to wait until after Spring break is over when I go back to my place near school.” Josh tells me whilst rubbing a hand over the back of his neck looking a little shy to be talking to me about such matters.

“Am I embarrassing you?” I tease just to wind Josh up.

“Well you don’t want some older brother type hanging out with you all the time do you?” Josh questions then takes a long gulp of beer.

“Newsflash Josh you are not my brother!” I remind him once more then add with a smile “We don’t exactly hang out all the time but when we do it is kind of fun.” 

“Is that so?” Josh questions with a wide smile as I nod in agreement.

Not wanting to over analyse anything I leave Josh talking to some people he recognised from college so I decide to look for my friend Tai whilst of course continuing to work the room before the band appeared on stage.

Hopefully the music would be something that I could actually dance to seeing that there was nothing like it not that I had any comparison exactly but some have said it was as fun as sex.

The gyrating of bodies in time to the beat, the closeness of you and your dance partner not to mention the playful touching of skin on skin I guess it was exactly the same not that I would know.

Although I definitely wasn’t going to go ahead and do that with anyone just yet unless they looked like Luke Perry or even better yet the actor himself now that would be like my teenage dream personified.

But I at least wanted to be in love with a boy before those thoughts even entered my mind which was why they very rarely did because I had yet come across a guy who invaded my thoughts like Luke Perry did.

“Hey Cher!” Tai waves at me from the middle of the crowd seeing that the grungy venue was getting pretty packed and my friend still had those two guys from outside hanging around her.

“This is Zack and Brad.” Tai smiles as I meekly wave back not really wanting to get into it with these guys seeing that they looked like they hadn’t washed in about a month.

It was all about the greasy hair accompanied by those lame baseball caps worn backwards with the baggiest of clothes draped over their body looking pretty much like they had got dressed in the dark.

“So what are two hot things like yourselves doing here alone?” Questions Brad or was it Zack either way I didn’t care.

“We are looking for guys like you!” Tai flirts aimlessly along which seems to please the two boys in front of us.

“As if.” I mumble to myself.

There was a way of capturing the heart of someone who you liked and openly flirting wasn’t going to make them instantly interested in you it was a work in progress.

“I think we need to move on.” I tell Tai grabbing onto her arm whilst trying to figure out how to get away from these two losers.

“I’m happy here-“Tai begins then stops when she suddenly begins to screams excitedly which makes me worry that she had partaken in some chronic in my absence.

“There’s Travis!” Tai shouts pointing behind me as I turn around to try and see the skateboarder that she was clearly still stuck on but it isn’t him just a look alike. 

“Oh shoot it isn’t him.” Tai pouts clearly upset by these turn of events.

“Well you will obviously see him in school after-“

“I hope so he was telling me recently about some of his favourite bands and I need to ask him what albums I should try out first.” Tai yells at me over the music in the background clearly over Brad and Zack from earlier.  
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Tai currently had this look on her face like I had told her that chocolate was now good for you a sweet smile that makes me wonder if Travis was in fact far better suited to her than Elton which was my bad.

I had also seen Tai pull this face earlier in the evening when she had been chatting with Josh which had made me feel weird and out of sorts but I was trying to forget that feeling.

Watching Tai shake her head as she noticed Elton with Amber I look to see how she reacts but her face looks pretty neutral to me which was a good sign.

Clearly Elton had issues and ideas above his station thinking that I was best suited to him like he had picked me out for keeping which would never happen.

I had always seen Elton as a friend bypassing his snobby poser like behaviour because he was part of our crew seeing how his dad could get you all the best tickets to local shows.

“You ok Cher?” Tai asks me with a swift nudge into my hip making me look away from our classmates who were making out in the crowd.

“Sure.” I smile to my friend feeling the complete opposite because more than ever I wanted a boyfriend of my own but I was too damn picky to just pick anyone.

I had felt pretty off this evening ever since Tai had walked into the lounge earlier because I had wanted to veg out an also secretly stew over a few things to help put order into my life.

Not entirely sure why I was like this I smile back at Tai as suddenly the lights go down and the crowd around us cheer loudly whilst people push into each other and I grab quickly onto my giggly friend for balance.

Some people appear on the small stage which had a dirty red curtain behind it and I guess it wasn’t the band everyone wanted it to be as I hear booing all around us which was pretty lame.

But then a light shines centre stage onto the band consisting of two guys and a female lead singer who launches into a heavy song which soon rocks the crowd and it was even something that I could dance to.

Trying to take my mind of whatever was still currently plaguing me I begin to dance and shimmy with Tai close to me which was fun I grudgingly admit to myself.

This feeling doesn’t last for long because Tai finds someone else to dance with a tall grungy looking guy with a drunk smile plastered lazily across his face which makes me shake my head.

Not wanting to be standing still I continue to dance again amongst the crowd as the band continue to play making people around me go wild which was a fun scene to be part of caught up in the moment but not enough to get knocked over.

Looking behind me as I spin round on the spot I notice Josh watching me and Tai so I send him a small wave which makes him begin to push past people to come closer to us.

Tai is getting real close to the tall guy with long strawberry blonde hair dancing a lot differently than how she had with Josh.

“Let’s dance?” Josh questions loudly.

Without waiting for a reply from me Josh begins to Pogo on the spot which surprisingly makes me smile clearly I was caught up in the moment of whatever was happening in this venue it couldn’t have been anything else.

“I am not doing that!” I scoff loudly with a small grin.

“This is how you dance to this kind of music Cher!” Josh yells whilst still bouncing on the spot he now has started to rock his head from side to side as well.

“Dance like this.” I smile grabbing hold of Josh’s hands as he suddenly stops bouncing like a toddler so I let him twirl me round my hair fanning out as I spin then begin to shimmy next to him but he soon stops dropping both of my hands in the process.

Josh is looking at me funny but I was only having a little fun with him sure he could dance himself but I doubted it would get him any female attention tonight.

Shrugging my shoulders at Josh I turn around and dance behind him instead as the band finish their last song announcing that the best is yet to come as they all step off stage together.

“That was awesome!” I tell Tai who still had the tall grungy guy next to hr side.

Looking behind my shoulder I notice that Josh had gone not sure what his problem was I knew that despite my first impressions I was having a real good time which honestly surprised me.

But this feeling doesn’t stay with me for long when I notice two things one that Tai was making out in front of me with the tall guy and two some sleaze ball was staring directly at me.

I could tell he was that kind of guy because the way he was licking his bottom lip and looking at me so I quickly glance away seeing if he took the hint but when I look back he was still there.

Seeing that Tai was occupied I go to move away into the crowd in the vain hope that I would lose him stopping at the bar to grab a bottle of water but just like chewing gum on the bottom of your shoe he was still there.

“Not interested.” I declare loudly grabbing my change from the bartender behind the bar keeping that look on my face that if anyone come near me then I would sure tell them what I thought of them.

Why was it I always attracted the worse boys? 

Besides Christian of course but there really wasn’t any cuties here tonight unless you counted Josh because he wasn’t exactly ugly but he was hardly my type.

Gross, why was I thinking about Josh like that?

Shaking my head I try to erase that thought from my memory forever more because it had been a weird one but what did I expect from a night like this.

A loud bang from behind the bar makes me jump and some losers holler and whoop in the crowd near me so I decide to look around for Tai but she is nowhere to be seen.

Moving away from the bar as some kind of fight breaks out beside me I look in my little patent black backpack for my cell phone because I needed to call Dee.

Obviously there is no answer the three times I call her number it was either due to bad reception or she was with Murray again which frustrated me even though I didn’t exactly know why.

I needed to think of a way of ditching this place then trying to get hold of Dee so I could go to hers for a calorie-fest perhaps she could help me out of this weird mood I was in.

Sure it had been fun dancing earlier but right now I wanted to be anywhere than here seeing that Tai was still busy and Josh was also nowhere to be seen which was just great.

Feeling the moodiness overtake me I wanted to stamp my foot hard on the ground in the hope that Josh would appear and we could go home because I was well and truly over tonight.

The lights suddenly go off which alerts everyone until they slowly turn them back up to reveal a band on the stage and going by the loud cheers around me it was just who everyone was waiting for.

“We’re Radiohead.” The lead singer yells in a whiny voice as the band begin to play which makes the air thick with crazy because like everyone goes nuts.

Well besides me I was still planning my exit but I didn’t want to leave Tai alone with that tall grungy guy and I felt bad at the thought of leaving Josh here by himself as well.

I notice Josh in the crowd still bouncing up and down to the music a look of pure joy on his face as his eyes are closed and he is back to doing that thing with his head which I had to admit looked sort of cute.

“Oh god, get a grip!” I tell myself firmly.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

This band was lame I recognised this song from Josh’s mix tapes he played both around the house and in his lame car they were totally whiny and noisy did I mention already that they sucked.

Well I guess going from the way the crowd in this room was reacting then I was the only one who thought this as I push my way through looking for an exit.

“Baby doll.” The sleazy guy from earlier reappears in front of me which obviously improves my mood.

“Get lost.” I try to move past the guy who was wearing a green polo shirt with a white sweater draped around his shoulder loosely trying to look preppy but ending up looking like a total sleaze instead.

“You don’t mean that beautiful.” The guy shows white teeth as he smiles at me that uneasy feeling making yet another appearance as I decide that perhaps I needed some help right about now.

 

“I do, now move out of my way.” I announce as loudly as I could above the music or racket whatever you wanted to call it.

Pushing past the guy when I see an opening in the crowd I move as quickly as I could to the other side of the venue in the hope of seeing someone I knew but it doesn’t happen and I am instead stuck.

Up against the wall trying not to get too close I see the guy approach me once more with that killer shark smile complete with a slimy look that sends fear flooding through me.

“I found you.” The guy sing songs with that horrible smile gleaming across his face whilst his light brown hair is gelled back and styled to extremes it looked like the end tips might snap off at any moment.

I could not argue my way out of this right now I decide as the guy steps closer to me pushing himself up against me as I shudder under his touch.

“Get away or I will scream.” I state through gritted teeth unsure what to do next but like hell was I going to let this guy know that I was feeling panicked.

“Oh baby I-“

Before the guy can continue I push him firmly away when I see Josh looming behind him here to rescue me at just the right time.

Clocking the unimpressed look that Josh was wearing the guy backs up with his hands out muttering something as he slid off back into the crowd like the snake he was.

“Thanks I-“

“We need to talk.” Josh declares grabbing my wrist with his hand he drags me behind him until we are outside the dark night sky playing as a perfect backdrop lighting up the strip which was very busy.

“Where are we going?” I question pulling myself away from Josh’s grasp as he lets go of my wrist.

“Down here.” Josh tells me heading down a side alley looking up at me with that look on his face like he was seconds away from lecturing me.

“This is gross, why are we here?” I ask hoping that Josh wasn’t about to go postal on me.

“Cher, you need to be more careful.” Josh begins which makes me sigh because he was going to tell me off even when it wasn’t my stupid fault.

“It wasn’t my fault I-“

“Nothing ever is!” Josh snaps yelling at me for the first time as he rubs a hand behind his neck then shakes his head like he was really annoyed with me.

“Look I’m sorry.” I tell him calmly not sure what was happening right now, but I just wanted to leave like half an hour ago.

“You need to be less naïve Cher.” Josh states in a normal voice “You’re cute but you don’t want to attract the wrong attention.”

“So I’m like a little kid to you then.” I scoff which kind of stung a little at the same time also.

“No you’re not.” Josh tells me looking directly at me then his hazel eyes drift down to my mouth just as a crazy thought enters my mind.

Was Josh about to kiss me?

Leaning forward Josh is staring at me still but then I feel someone hug me from behind and turning round I see it is Tai with a worried look on her face.

“Cher, are you ok?” Tai question whilst hugging me hard which was welcomed right now.

Unable to speak for a few moments Tai misinterprets my silence as she continues to hug me but my mind is elsewhere trying to figure out what had just happened with Josh.

“I saw what you did.” Tai aims this statement at Josh who goes back to looking shyly at my friend.

“Cher was in trouble yet again-“

“I had it covered.” I reply shakily.

“Not from where I was standing you need me around.” Josh retorts back his eyes watching me once more making me look away from his intense gaze.

“Josh saved you!” Tai tells me like this was news to me adding “The least you could do was thank him.”

“I will not-“

“I think Josh at least deserves a hug.” Tai tells me annoyingly.

“That’s ok-“

Before Josh could say something sarcastic I step back over to him leaning in for a brief hug to appease Tai who claps her hands happily then joins in with the group love in.

Despite jumping around like an idiot in there Josh smelled good with hints of citrus and warm skin I close my eyes and inhale him until I realise what I am doing and I break away from the hug.

What was that?

Not even when Josh was my stupid older step-sibling did we ever hug at all and obviously I have never smelled him because the majority of boys usually rarely washed especially the ones at school.

Totally over with tonight I needed to get away now more than ever not even trying to contact Dee because I really didn’t want to hear her take on this evening I just needed to go home.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Josh meanwhile was rooted to the spot whilst Tai smiled at him stroking the sleeve of his tee shirt telling him how sweet he was rescuing me he looked way awkward.

Catching my ex-step siblings eye he rewards me with a funny look then suddenly begins to smile at whatever Tai was going on about now that girl goes from one story to another in seconds it can be confusing trying to keep up with her.

“I’m getting a cab home.” I tell Josh and Tai loudly but get no instant reaction which was rude.

“I’m going now!” I yell louder which has the desired effect as Josh snaps his head up to look at me.

“You don’t want to stay?” Questions Josh looking a little put out.

“Sorry, if you like this band-“

“Understatement of the year!” Cuts in Josh with a scoff.

“But tonight has been all kinds of traumatic and super weird so I need to just go.” I whine back totally validating my point.

“OK, let’s go then.” Josh tells me regrettably.

“No, you two stay I just need to be alone.” I inform them “I can definitely get a cab on my own.”

“If you’re sure?” Josh questions suddenly looking very protective of me “Your dad threatened me remember!”

“Josh, I can survive getting home.” I groan because this was annoying me now.

“Cher, says she is ok so it’s fine!” Tai smiles at me and I smirk back.

Tai I notice still has her hand on Josh’s arm but he was too busy studying my face to notice so I give them both a quick wave then head back up the strip pulling out my cell phone once more.

This time I was in a crowded area so there was no way I was going to get robbed again I just hoped that creep from inside the venue wouldn’t magically appear now that would be a real bummer.

Home way before curfew I climb the tall stairs in the large entrance hallway taking a left to my bedroom but sneaking past daddy’s office beforehand so he could see I was home.

“Cher, get in here.” Daddy calls as he catches me walking past the open door.

“Yes daddy!” I poke my head round with a smile happy to actually be home.

“Your home early.” Daddy comments with surprise in his voice.

“I just had enough and wanted to come home.” I tell daddy with a shrug off my shoulders.

“Nothing happened did it?” Daddy asked getting up from his dark green leather chair from behind his desk with a worried look etched on his face.

“No, of course not!” I tell him not even sounding convincing to my own ears this evening had truly done a number on me.

“Is Josh at home too?” Daddy questions firmly adding “I told him to get both you and your friend Tai home by two at the very latest.”

“I know daddy.” I nod then add “But I got a cab Josh wanted to stay and watch the band it was someone he liked but I thought they sounded terrible and Tai was having fun with Josh.”

“Oh, I see.” Daddy states suddenly sounding all-knowing like whilst I felt not for the first time in recent weeks totally clueless.

“See what daddy?” I question sitting down on the couch in the office.

“Well sounds like to me that my baby girl is a little jealous?” Daddy questions softly.

“Jealous, of who?” I retort not sure or actually liking where daddy was going with this.

“Well maybe Tai and Josh-“

“I’m getting really tired daddy I’m off to sleep can we talk tomorrow?” I cut in with a fake a yawn so I could then rush away to my own room.

“Sure, night Cher.” Daddy smiles at me leaning over the back of the couch to kiss my forehead gently.

Practically running to my room I try not to think about what daddy could have meant or what he was trying to get at instead I put on a grey pair of vest and shorts which were comfy and already made me feel better.

Make up free I moisturise my face then begin to slowly brush my hair closing my eyes as I recount the weird events of tonight wishing not for the first time that I had actually stayed at home instead.

The idea had been a good one go out to take whatever was on my mind off it even though I couldn’t exactly place these mixed feelings that were assaulting my thoughts but I did wish they would just go away.

So that had been my first secret gig I’ve ever been too where grown guys acted like boys or even worse creeps which made me believe I had way more fun at parties with people my age.

I didn’t even get the college crowd especially whatever was up with Heather saying those things about Josh and then walking off with another boy in front of him that was way harsh.

But Josh didn’t seem to care he had tried to make it fun for me and Tai who had ended the night clinging onto him in case he disappeared maybe she was after a friend of his or something?

I would never admit it but sure I had liked the sound of the first band which played because sure I liked all kinds of music in context and they sure had been rocking.

Hearing my cell phone ring in my backpack I leap up off my bed heading over to where I had dropped it by my makeup table just in time to grab it.

“Hello!” I call down the line hoping the other person hadn’t hung up on me because that annoyed the hell out of me.

“Cher!” Tai shouts back I can barely hear her over the loud background noise she must still be out with Josh.

“I cannot hear you!” I shout back hoping not to interrupt daddy I head to my bedroom door and pull it halfway closed.

“Now?” Tai questions back whilst I wish she just got on with what she wanted to say my mood really bugging me out this evening.

“Cher, I’ve had a revelation!” Tai announces clearly which makes my perfect eyebrows rise to the heavens.

“What’s happened?” I ask trying to sound interested.

“I really need to see you tomorrow to tell you!” Tai announces and I tell her it is fine she can come by after my driving test is over and done with.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Tai soon hangs up on me which worries me briefly but I had something I was kind of dealing with myself for me to help others I needed to be focused in my own life which wasn’t exactly true at the moment.

The yucky feeling I had was still going strong so I drop my cell phone onto my bed then decide to head back downstairs hoping that Josh hasn’t come back early on my account.

I never used to care what Josh thought of me but tonight I had heard many conflicting things which just didn’t add up right.

Had Heather been jealous of my relationship with Josh? Even though I had never seen him that way I did care what he thought of me even though I never showed it.

Was Josh sweet on Tai? I had caught him scoping her out also they were very close together at some points in the evening but that was none of my business.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the large fridge to the left of me I also pick up an apple from the wooden fruit bowl for something to snack on.

That is when I notice it I spot Josh’s Walkman just lying there on the kitchen counter and before I think about it I grab it finding my hands now full so I rush back up to my room.

Laying back onto my bed I wonder briefly what Tai is going to talk to me about tomorrow as I smile to myself hoping that my driving test will go as great as I think it will.

I had covered all points with Josh that time he had driven with me after the whole ticket mishap and then I watched Dee in action when we were in the car with Murray so I felt quietly confident.

My ensemble was already planned out I just had to piece it together tomorrow so I looked official and totally ready to pass my test.

Not sure why I was having this constant battle with feeling like rubbish but I felt that things were out of my control which was the worst.

Placing Josh’s headphones over my head I decide to block out all of my thoughts but as soon as I have pressed play I instantly regret this idea.

Sure I enjoyed lots of different genres of music I was an American teenager in the mid-nineties after all but I drew the line at whatever this was what the hell was I doing?

This was complaint rock something straight from the play list of a college radio station this was going fully against my best interest listening to this music.

But the funny thing was that I didn’t turn it off because it was actually relaxing my stomach from that yucky feeling that had been chasing me around all night.

I wouldn’t exactly say I was suddenly converted and I was going to start wearing plaid all the time with some thrifted band tee shirts, as if!

Closing my eyes I find myself thinking about Josh the annoying ex step brother that I hadn’t of asked for but gotten the slightly annoying smart ass who sure was sweet in nature deep down but this should be the last thing on my mind.

Why was I thinking about Josh like this knowing that he had been annoying me a lot more than usual recently but also he was playing nice sometimes which meant we got along.

A song that begins playing makes me open my eyes with a wry grin on my face because it doesn’t sound totally awful so much so I keep rewinding the tape over and over.

 _“If I could see into your heart.”_

_“Then would I know where to start?”_

More than ever I wanted to find myself a boyfriend to call my own someone to hang out with, also laugh along with their jokes and of course kiss him on command.

He had to be cute as well in the conventional way I liked but then my mind betrays me as I begin to think about some of the guys I had seen this evening at the venue yet they were far from my ideal right now.

 _“Crazy as it sounds, I need you around.”_

Suddenly Josh appears in my thoughts which sets off that yucky feeling all over again that I hate because him yelling at me earlier had put me in such a weird mood.

Falling asleep with the headphones around my neck and my mind full of Josh I wake up with a start the next morning as the alarm wakes me.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Morning Cher.” Lucy our maid greets me like she did every morning collecting my clothes usually found on the floor for the dry cleaners.

“Morning Lucy.” I grin happily because I felt a whole heap better this morning thanks to a good dream which I didn’t exactly remember but it must have been great for me to feel like this.

I feel bad for a few moments wishing that I could recall the dream but I had a nice warm feeling inside like I knew it had been a good one.

Lucy walks out of my bedroom arms full of my clothes which needed cleaning usually I would help her but right now I wanted to stay right here in my bed and just enjoy this moment.

Hearing a knock on my bedroom door makes me jump as Josh pokes his head round and I cover myself with my duvet not wanting him to see me in my PJ’s.

Looking back up I feel my face begin to blush suddenly as I recall that my ex step-sibling had a cameo in my dream the very one that I had woken up from in such a great mood which in turn makes me feel suddenly awful.

“Morning sleepyhead.” Josh smiles slowly at me then asks “Have you seen my Walkman around anywhere?”

“Why would I know that?” I retort back trying to ignore the heat radiating from my cheeks hoping that from all the way over there Josh could not see my face.

“Look, I’m only asking!” Josh yells at me which sends me over the edge.

“Why all the question, I haven’t seen it Josh!” I bicker back lamely.

“Clearly someone woke up on the wrong side of their bed.” Josh informs me with a wide grin.

“Leave me alone then so I can get some more sleep!” I yell then think better of it because I didn’t exactly want to have Josh guest staring in another dream which should have been a nightmare obviously.

“Actually just get lost Josh because I need to get ready for my driving test.” I tell him seriously hoping he took the hint for once.

“Good luck with that and all.” Josh tells me then with a small wave he leaves me alone.

“Finally!” I sigh laying back down in my bed feeling thankful that I didn’t actually remember much of my dream just that it had put a huge smile on my face.

“As if.” I shudder at the thought of Josh making me feel that way the same boy who drank orange juice straight from the jug, took up way more space then needed and listened to bogus music.

Standing up from my bed I look around the bedroom floor for my cell phone but I cannot find it anywhere then I briefly wonder if Josh had taken it because he thought I had his stupid Walkman.

Finding my cell phone as soon as I pull the duvet off my bed alongside Josh’s Walkman which strikes me as strange until I recall that I had actually been listening to it last night.

I hadn’t been myself lately but I remember once more that I had my driving test later today blaming that to be the reason behind my out of body moment that I had encountered last night.

Clearly someone or something was playing tricks with me and I didn’t care for the results if they were more dreams about Josh or me actually liking something the same as him.

Yuck!

Grabbing an oversized peach sweater from the bottom of my bed I pull it over my head then placing my hair into a high ponytail I grab my cell phone and the stupid Walkman as well.

Going downstairs I place the Walkman down back on the kitchen counter where I had found it returning to the scene of the crime hoping that I wouldn’t get caught out.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“All you had to do was ask if you wanted to borrow my stuff.” Josh whispers in my ear standing right behind me which makes me jump then turn around grabbing onto the counter to steady myself.

“I didn’t-“Not sure how to argue my way out of this one I stop talking when I notice how Josh’s face is inches away from mine.

“No come back?” Josh questions with a wide smile on his face.

“Fine I did listen to your Walkman so sue me!” I roll my eyes waiting for the sarcastic comment to come shooting out of Josh’s mouth but it doesn’t.

“I was serious.” Josh tells me instead then adds “If you ever want to borrow anything just ask next time.”

“Ok, I will.” I nod back with a wry grin on my face.

“Good.” Josh smiles lazily then asks “Did you actually like any songs on there?”

“Now that would be telling!” I scrunch my nose up playfully.

Josh glances down at me with a challenging look on his face like he wanted me to admit I did in fact like some of the songs from his stupid mix tape.

As if!

Obviously I did seeing that I had been rewinding one particular song over and over which makes me hope that I didn’t ruin his tape in the process.

“Your secrets safe with me Cher.” Josh chuckles as he place both his hands now on the counter pinning me to the spot his body very close to mine.

For once in my life I was at a loss for words because nothing else mattered other than this moment which suddenly put me in a totally foul mood.

“Will you give me some space!” I yell placing both my hands onto Josh’s chest pushing him away from me because this was getting weird again.

“I was just playing around.” Josh finally backs away rubbing the back of his neck whilst a light pink blush appeared over his face.

“Well now I am in a bad mood and it is all your fault.” I whine hoping that this wasn’t a sign that today was going to be a bad one.

“Who am I to upset the incredibly popular Cher?” Josh questions sarcastically adding “It's always all about you!”

With that Josh storms out of the kitchen leaving me leaning against the counter letting out the breath I didn’t know that I was holding in feeling really confused right now.

But this wasn’t me at all because I was an altogether kind of girl usually fitting perfectly into any social situation what I didn’t need this morning was Josh teasing me.

I could do this, I had everything under control I tell myself at least ten more times as I walk slowly from the kitchen still in a daze from what had just happened with Josh.

“Not today.” I sigh closing my eyes forcing myself to get a grip.

All I had to do was get dressed into my most responsible looking outfit, pass my driving test and then listen to whatever Tai had to say to me.

Also avoid Josh at all cost as well until at least next week when he was back at college and normalcy would finally resume around here.

Or so I thought…


End file.
